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All tagged mental health
I canceled Christmas this year. Not for you, you can totally have Christmas, there isn’t Christmas at my house. I have a little Charlie Brown tree with a blue blanket as a skirt and a single red ornament thanks to my mom but other than that there is nary a sign of the holiday to be found in my home. This is incredibly unusual for me, I’m generally a tiny elf spreading Christmas cheer like it’s my job. This year, I’m not feeling it. At all.
The constant brace for disaster hasn’t made me more aware of life; it’s made me tired, it’s given me wrinkles in my forehead from having my brow constantly furrowed, in so many ways it has fundamentally altered how I live my life. And it isn’t for the better. Even in situations where everything is fine one tiny change, one small pebbled dropped in the water, can ripple into a tidal wave of anxiety that consumes me. I don’t feel like that makes my life richer. But if my anxiety is a gift...I’d rather get a gift card.
